Draqueen Hospital
by Aeriel of Isternes
Summary: Welcome to the Draqueen Hospital. We have some good doctors...and some not so good ones. Warning: This fic is on crack. Honestly. I labeled it Western just for the heckuvit.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I own volume 13, does that count for anything?

* * *

"Doctor! She's going into critical condition!" a nurse screamed.

"Calm down, Syra!" another nurse screamed back.

A young man, perhaps in his late teens, early twenties dashed in. "What's her status, Dealte?"

"Her fever is steadily rising from an original temperature of 101." Delte replied calmly, trying to disguise her natural panic.

"We're going to lose her!" Syra wailed.

A third nurse whacked her. "We are _not_ going to lose her, Syra!"

"Silk's right, Syra." The last nurse said angrily. "We _aren't_!" she turned around. "Are we?"

The young man shook his head. "No we aren't, Saadia." He glared at the monitor. "Not if I can help it."

The patient, although unconscious from fever, let out a pitiful moan.

"That's it!" the doctor snapped. "Everyone out!"

The four nurses left, still arguing.

Rune turned to the patient. "Let's see..." he murmured in a quieter tone. He glanced at his patient, looking over her stats. "Shian Fiori, fourteen, lives with cousin, cousin's boyfriend, and best friend from elementary school." Shian's light blue hair might have appeared to be cropped at the shoulders, but the rest of her hair was held up in a high ponytail by a white ribbon. She was wearing a sporty white and purple outfit with high white boots.

"Well, that's a fairy if I ever saw one, and I certainly have."

Rune gently placed his three middle fingers on her forehead. "_Heal_."

A shining blue light spread from his fingers to Shian's forehead, and washed over her body.

On the monitor, the numbers dropped at an amazing speed, until it read '98.6' at which point it came to a sudden stop.

The fairy opened her eyes, which could be now seen as amethyst.

"L-lord Rune?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I'm your doctor."

Shian sat up. "No, it _is_ you, I know it!"

Rune gave a faint smile. "Maybe. But promise me Shian, that you won't go telling everyone where I am."

"I won't!"

"SHIAN!" Miyabi and Nohiro ran up to her.

"Shian, I was so worried!" Miyabi cried.

"Don't worry Miya', I'm fine now." Shian grinned.

"Shian, I'm so relived! Don't scare us like that!" Nohiro lectured.

"Where's my dear coz, by the way?" the recovered fairy asked.

"At home having kittens about you." Miyabi said dryly.

"Nani?!"

"Not literally, silly."

Rune laughed quietly. It was moments like this that made his job worth it. His job as a doctor at Draqueen Hospital.


	2. Crank Calls

A/N: So! People seem to like my little fic. Keep in mind I'm working on a lot of Inuyasha fics at the moment.

**Some Reviewer Responses:**

**Lady Dragonnaine:** I guess you like R/C! {laughs}I don't hate you or think you are a freak! By the way, Cesia will be Rath's psychiatrist (that is very hard to spell). I'm glad you like!

**aquajogger:** Actually, HanaKusuku is dating Nohiro. Was this a quick enough update?

**insaneoveranime: **Yup, it's an AU. I'll check out your site ASAP!

You are actually reading a fanfic {gasps} Just kidding, yeah I know who you are! About the review, it's fine.

And that would be all I have time for. If anyone here likes Inuyasha, I'd like it if you read my fics. Otherwise, just read this chapter and review.

Disclaimer: I wonder, if I _did_ own Dragon Knights, what would I write here? N/A?

* * *

"Hey, Dealte!"

Dealte looked up from her notes at the front desk. "Back _again_, Kitchel?

Kitchel looked offended. "You know, stealing is a very rough profession! Can I help it if I broke my leg again?"

Dealte rolled her eyes. "Suure. You know we had a private detective in here the other day. She had this really nasty arm wound from being attacked. You, on the other hand, got your injury from slipping in a treasure cave. See the difference?"

Over in the cafeteria, Thatz sat up. "Did somebody mention treasure?"

"Can you just get me a doctor and put me in rehab?" Kitchel griped.

"Fine, fine. Wait in the lobby, Rune will be here in a few minutes. Oh, and you might want to catch lunch in between."

Kitchel suddenly looked scared. "Oh, no. Not if you have the same chef. I nearly died from my breakfast in bed last time!"

Thatz sneezed. "Hey, somebody must be talking about me!"

Dealte grinned sadistically. "Sorry, Kitchel, but we still have the same chef. And food is a requirement."

"Noooo!"

Dealte turned around. "Alright, who's next?"

Raseleane walked up to the counter, dragging along Rath. "I'm next. My foster son keeps trying to kill himself, do you think your psychiatrist can help?"

Dealte shrugged "Cesia can do anything. Now, I need your help to fill out this sheet. Name?"

"Raseleane Ryu."

"Patient's Name?"

"Rath Ryu."

"When did he start becoming suicidal?"

"Three years ago."

"How old is he?"

"Seventeen."

"Okay, I'll leave the rest to Cesia. Sit over there please."

Thatz was bored. "I think I'll make crank phone calls." He randomly dialed a number.

Dealte picked up the phone "Hello?"

Thatz grinned "Hello miss. You put the mad in madam. Goodbye." He hung up.

Dealte sweatdropped. "Well, that wasn't very nice."

Earth flew up to Thatz. "Earth! You missed my crank phone call! Never mind, I'll make another one. He 'randomly' dialed another number.

In the waiting room, Kitchel's cell phone began to ring. "Hello?"

Thatz fell off his chair. "Um, you've won three cans of soup!"

Kitchel narrowed her eyes. "Thatz, is that you?"

Thatz quickly hung up. "Yeesh, that was close." He looked at Earth. "Let's do it again!"

Rune picked up the phone in his office. "Hello?"

"Hello! I am the pizza man, I am downstairs, could you help me?" Thatz said in a fake voice.

Rune raised his eyebrows. "Is that the cook?"

Thatz accidentally went back to his real voice. "Huh?"

"Thatzzzzzzz!" Rune yelled. "I have patients, don't call this number!" He hung up.

Thatz sweatdropped. "I think that's the first time a crank caller got hung up on."

Earth looked expectantly at him. "You're right Earth! Let's do it again!"

Cesia picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Is your refrigerator running? Better go and catch it!"

"I don't have a refrigerator you moron!" Cesia yelled into the phone. "This is a psychiatrist's office!"

Back in the lobby, Dealte was desperately trying to page Cesia. "Darn! And I couldn't get through to Rune either!"


	3. Therapy

* * *

Okay, this chapter was written the way it was SUPPOSED to be, unlike last chapter, which got screwed up. I only have time for a few reviwer responses, but at the end, I plan on commenting about the chapter.

Lady Dragonnaine: I'll try for the details, but it really depends what type of writing mood I'm in. I know what you mean about the R/C! Seriously, everyone's wrting yaoi these days {shudders} As tmm-kitty gurl and Meimei already know, I recently came across a NadilRune {shudders and vomits}. Not to mention the lack of Rune/Tintlet, but that's another story...

aquajogger: I forgot to put it in the summary, but I definently plan on putting in ThatzxKitchel. Oh by the way, I really love your story 'Backwards and in High Heels'. I really hope you update it! Please?

Meimei: YAY! You love my story!

tmm-kitty gurl: Hehehehe...(revenge for all those weird e-mails)

And to all the other rabid R/C fans {coughBroteecough}: Hey! It takes time for their relationship to build! GIVE ME A FEW FREAKING CHAPTERS!!!

Had to get that out of my system....

Thanks to all m wonderful reviewers!

* * *

Raseleane walked up to Dealte. "Excuse me, but it's been twenty minutes. Where is the psychiatrist?"

Dealte gave Raseleane an apologetic look. "I can't get through to her. I'll try again in a few minutes." She banged her pencil on the desk. "Damnit! Why the heck are you chatting on the phone, Cesia!"

Raseleane backed away nervously.

Dealte tried Rune.

* * *

"Hello?" Rune answered. 'This had better not be another crank call!'

* * *

Dealte sighed in relief, sitting down and slumping in her chair. "Finally! Why was your pager line busy?"

* * *

"Ask Thatz that." Rune said darkly. "Apparently he makes in-hospital crank calls."

* * *

Dealte gaped in disbelief. "I couldn't get through... because of a crank call? What the hell!?" She smashed her fist through the desk.

* * *

Rune winced. "Dealte... if I heard that last bit correctly I believe we are going to need a new front desk. And you might want to consider getting a part timer to give you time to, off. And Silk filling in for you midnight through five AM doesn't count."

* * *

Dealte stared blankly at the hole in the desk. "Uh, right. Oh, I wanted to page you about Kitchel. She's back with a broken leg."

* * *

"Thanks, I'll be right over." Rune hung up and walked out the door.

* * *

Rune walked in, causing to Dealte jump. "How'd you get here so fast?"

Rune sweatdropped. "You always forget that my office is only a few doors down."

Dealte sweatdropped too. "Kitchel? Your doctor is here."

"Finally!" Kitchel shouted, exiting the room with Rune as a crutch.

Thatz chose that choice moment to walk in. 'What the heck is he doing with Kitchel?!'

"He's her _doctor_ Thatz." Dealte said tiredly.

"How'd you---can you read minds?" Thatz gaped.

"No, I can read faces. Your face says it all."

"I DO NOT LIKE KITCHEL!!!" Thatz yelled.

"I think there may be people in remote areas on the far side of the world who didn't hear that." Cesia commented, as she stepped up to the desk to get her schedule. "Speaking of which, DEALTE! What the hell did you do to this desk!?"

"Nobody said you did, Thatz." Dealte said quickly. "And Cesia, I can explain."

"How?"

Dealte pointed to Thatz. "It was his fault!"

Cesia slowly pivoted until she was looking at him "Thaaaaatz!"

"Uh, you have patients! Tend to them! Gotta cook!" Thatz whizzed out of there as fast as his legs could carry him.

"Right!" Cesia said cheerfully. "Rath!"

Rath jumped up. "That's me!"

Dealte sweatdropped. "Cesia has definitely been spending too much time with Rune."

Rune poked his head out "Thatz? Where?"

Cesia raised an eyebrow. "Why are you hunting him?"

"He grabbed a patient right out of my office."

"Well, leave it to me. I know this unlicensed surgeon, Birrez, who I could always threaten him with."

"Oh, good." Rune's head disappeared.

"C'mon, Rath, let's go to my office.

* * *

Rath sat down on a big cushy chair in Cesia's office, and looked cheerfully around the room. Cesia sat on a normal chair opposite Rath.

"Alright, Rath, so...you want to kill yourself?"

Rath's cheerful look suddenly vanished, replaced by a serious air. "That's right."

"Why? From what I can see about your family, you have many people who love you! Why would you want to die?"

Rath frowned. "I'm a demon. They only pity me. They don't really love me at all."

Cesia stood up and frowned. "So it's people pitying you that has you bothered? Well don't worry, Rath because I don't pity you at all."

"Why not?"

"Well, _genius_," Cesia said sarcastically "In case you haven't noticed, I'm a demon too. There has got to be more to your reason for suicide than that."

Rath sighed. "I care about them, okay? What if I lose control? What if I kill someone? I couldn't live with myself."

Cesia rolled her eyes. "What if the world explodes? What if Rune's hair turns blue? You can't just go around 'what if'ing things. As for not living with yourself, it seems you can't live with yourself now. So why don't you wait to contemplate suicide until _after_ you've killed someone?" As soon as she said that, Cesia regretted that.

"And leave them with two deaths? Never!" Rath stood up too.

"You are _already_ upsetting them with your own possible death!" Cesia yelled "Listen you. You can struggle and try, but I am _not letting you die_." ((A/N: Crap, that rhymes.))

The seriousness of the moment was ruined by loud crashing downstairs.

Rath raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"

Cesia was just as baffled. "Well, Rune's office is downstairs, why don't we see what's going on?"

* * *

They entered Rune's office to see the doctor smashing a chair against the wall, and yelling, while on TV was...

Rath blinked "Lord of the Rings?"

"Help me, Rath!" Cesia yelled, trying desperately to pull Rune away from the wall and chair. Between the two of them, they managed to restrain him, and yank him out of the room.

* * *

Within a few minutes, Cesia was back in her office, this time with Rune in the comfy chair. "Ano, Rune? Why were you so mad?"

"One word." Rune said darkly. "_Legolas_."

Cesia frowned. "You mean that elf guy from Lord of The Rings?"

"Yes." Rune said tensely "He's an elf, I'm an elf. We both have long blonde hair. But_ he_," Rune smashed his fist into a side table. "-doesn't get mistaken for a girl all the time!"

Cesia sweatdropped. Suddenly, Thatz popped up. "That's because he doesn't look like one!"

"THAAAATZ!" Rune jumped up and ran after him, leaving Cesia in her office.

"Hmmm. Now, what was Birrez's number again?"

* * *

The whole Legolas joke was actually based on a real event. tmm-kitty gurl, I belive you know what I'm talking about....

You see, I was complaining about how Legolas and Rune are very similar, but nobody accuses Legolas of being a girl. So then T-chan said: "That's because he doesn't look like one."

I just though it would be a funny thing to put in.

Next chapter (which I've already started!) Lunch! Bum bum bum!


	4. Lunch can be an adventure

**A/N:** Okay, this is a tad short but I didn't want to put off putting it off for too long. As you can see, I changed my penname to "Elfin Kagome" now.

With the reviewer responses, now I will respond when I can, and when I can't, I'll just type the reviewer's name.

**ShadowDown:** Damn! I should have though of that thing with the what if's and Rune! Oh well...

**rath lover**

**Lady Dragonnaine:** I'm glad I made you happy! I think I've been saying this to everybody, but the lack of Rune/Tintlet has been driving me nuts. So in addition to this story, I am working on a R/T. My friends think i'm crazy...

**insaneoveranime: **Yeah, they really do... Thanks 4 the long review! Short on time, but I had a feeling I screwed up Birrez's name...

**aquajogger: **Lol!

**Brotee**

**hir**

**tmm-kitty gurl:** {sweatdrops} Uh, did you read chapter three, Thatz? I know Rath didn't... well, last time I saw her, anyway. See you later!

**Meimei:** Read chapter three now, Rath! Or I will drag up the Ratz joke again! Wait, didn't Thatz say that she hated it.... oh crap...

* * *

It was finally lunch time at Draqueen Hospital. Everyone sat down at the cafeteria.

"Now!" Thatz shouted excitedly, still having a few bandages from his encounter with Rune, "Who wants lunch?"

"I think everyone brought their own lunch, Thatz." Silk called.

Thatz went all teary eyed. "But- are you sure you don't want my Cranberry Orange muffin?" He held out a lopsided brown muffin with some mysterious orange gook on top. It looked, well, unappetizing, to say the least. Everyone shuddered, except one person.

"Thatz!" Rath jumped up.

"My teacher!" Thatz shouted. "Want a muffin?"

"Sure!" Rath took one bite and turned green.

"It's good, huh?" Thatz said happily. "Now, who dares to eat anything else?"

"Me!" everyone else yelled in unison.

Offended, Thatz looked around to see what exactly it was that they preferred over his wonderful food. "Hey!" he shouted. "Rune's got a blondie!"

Rune looked up "What?"

Rath cracked up "Rune, the _blonde_ is eating a blondie!"

Rune shrugged "They're good!"

"It is?" Thatz asked. "Where'd you buy it then?"

"I didn't buy it."

"You stole it then?"

Rune smacked his forehead. "No, you moron! It's homemade!"

Suddenly, a loud rumbling was heard.

"What was that?" Ringleys asked. Ringleys was Dealte's part-timer.

"I'll go see." Silk walked over to the window and looked out. Then she sweatdropped.

"What is it, Silk?" Kitchel called.

"It's a...demon blimp."

Rath perked up. "Demons? Yay!" He ran up the stairs.

"What the heck is he doing?" Rune wondered.

Thatz sweatdropped. "I think he's getting the Draqueen Hospital blimp.

Suddenly, a loud crash was heard from upstairs.

"Let's help him." Thatz and Rune said in unison.

A few minutes later, the hospital staff and some of their patients were staring out the window, watching... a blimp fight?

The DH blimp had finally pulled out into the sky, and the demon blimp was really just floating there. Everyone gaped as the DH blimp put on a sudden burst of speed straight towards the demon blimp.

"Rath!" Rune hollered as the blimp shot forward. "What the heck do you think you're doing! Ow!" Rune banged into the wall and grabbed at the back of Rath's chair.

"Demon hunting!" Rath said happily.

"Rath," Thatz yelled from his position squished between the coat rack (why a blimp had a coat rack, we may never know) and the wall, "I think you need therapy for more than suicidal tendencies. Does Cesia know you're obsessed with killing demons?"

"Well, Thatz," Rune shouted over the motor, "if she doesn't already know, I think she will now! Ow!" He had just banged his head on the steering wheel.

"Hey, Rune." Thatz shouted. "Doesn't it seem like we're aiming straight for the blimp?"

"Oh crap!" Rune yelled.

"We're gonna craaaaaaash!" Rune and Thatz screamed, while Rath yelled "DEMONS!"

* * *

**Enter the cliffie! **And now i gotta work on NWH (Inuyasha/Sa parody)

Ja ne!


	5. The Blimp fights continue

**A/N: I am mad. Very mad. Fear me. ff,net keeps removing all my &$$& signs!!!!**

**So -blah- is a dragon sign and ::blah:: is an action in my A/N's.**

**

* * *

**

**Recap**

"We're gonna craaaaaash!" Rune and Thatz yelled, while Rath screamed "DEMONS!"

**Chapter 5**

Seconds later, the DH blimp crashed into the demon blimp with a sickening CRACK.

All the onlookers winced.

Up in the blimp...

"Oww!" Rune moaned. "I am definitely going to need a doctor after this!"

"You _are_ a doctor." Thatz pointed out from his entanglement on the floor with the coat rack and a vacuum cleaner (yet another seemingly useless object).

"That doesn't mean I can cure myself!" Rune snapped.

"It doesn't?"

"Thaaatz." Rune growled from between clenched teeth. "After we get off this blimp you are _so dead_."

"Demons!" Rath cheered happily.

"You too!" Rune added.

"What?"

"I said after we get off the blimp you are dead, Rath!"

"Demons!"

"Yes, we get that, Rath." Thatz said impatiently. "Can you kill them already so we can get down?"

"Sure!" Rath picked up a sword from the ground, stood back and began to aim.

"Are you using that sword as a javelin?" Rune said in disbelief.

"Yup!" Rath was about to throw the sword when Fire flew out of it.

-Don't shoot!- Fire held up a sign frantically.

"But I wanna kill demons!" Rath pouted.

-Set a dragon or two on them-

"Okay!" Rath said happily. "Get big now so I can ride you!"

-What!?-

"I can't let you have all the fun!"

Fire sighed and got big so that Rath could ride him, and flew to the demon blimp.

Within moments sounds of hacking and screaming could be heard.

Rune raised an eyebrow. "I don't think we want to know what's happening over there."

"I feel bad for the demons. They never had a chance." Thatz said sadly.

Rune sweatdropped. "We are talking _demons_, here, Thatz. You aren't supposed to feel bad for them."

"Oh."

Suddenly, the blimp ripped, forcing Shian and Ringleys to fly up there with an enormous 'censored' sign.

"That fairy looks familiar..." Rune pondered.

"This is my day job!" Shian yelled down.

After a few minutes more, just when everyone thought things were quieting down, a laser shot down and hit a sports car, blowing it up.

"Ack! My car!" Thatz wailed.

Rune blinked. "Thatz... how did you buy a _Ferrari_... on your cook's salary?"

"I stole it."

A vein popped on Rune's forehead. "You. Stole. A. Good. Car."

"Uh, anyone gonna fly this down?" Thatz said nervously.

Earth flew in from out of nowhere. I'll do it! He then took to the wheel.

((Just so everyone knows, I'm making up this stuff about blimps as I go along, all I know is from Pokemon and staring at them in the sky.))

"I'll kill you!" Rune hollered. Fortunately for Thatz, Earth then landed the blimp, thus helping him escape.

"Helllllp!" Thatz wailed as he raced throught the hallways of the hospital.

Meanwhile, Rath flew out of the now demolished demon blimp on Fire.

"Huh? Where'd everybody go?"

* * *

A/N: Wow. It took a whole chapter to finish the blimp fight. Well, more insanity next time!

Flying-Cesia: Why I'm honorned, Rath! looks at your favorite authors list You put Emma there?

insaneoveranime: Mmmm. Cookie.

Hentaikoneko: Coincedentally, school is what kept me from updating ::glares at Ms. Couglin:: Flying-Cesia knows what I mean.

aquajogger: Hmm, I wonder how fast blimps _can_ fly....

Tower: bows Arigato! Thank you very much!

Lady Dragonnaine: Yes, this fic is starting to take a turn for the weirder, but R/C will still be there..hehehe. Next chapter I plan to play with Thatz's jealousy, Rune's telephone, and of course, Cesia will be dancing with Rath! ::Laughs evilly::

RathIlluser-012: I'm glad!

ShadowDown: Yay! You like! Oh, and I'm working on an update for No Way Home.

Also thanks to Brotee for reviewing!


	6. Job Applications and Utter Chaos as usua...

A/N: I'm sneaking to post this, as I have been grounded.

Disclaimer: If I owned Dragon Knights, there would be no spammers claiming Tintlet loved goldfish, that's for sure.

Review 'Sponses, as far as I can manage

Otal Nimrodi: Thanks, I try. Can you guess why Nadil had to get surgery?

aquajogger: Here it is, so scroll down and read!

Lady Dragonnaine: I TOTALLY know what you mean about not enought R/C! There is an EXTREMLY DISTURBING amount of yaoi here. Especially for poor Rune :(. Also, to go off on a tangent, there ARE WAYYYY TOO FEW RUNE/TINTLETS!! GOD, DO PEOPLE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH NICE LOVING ELVES AND FAIRYS OR SOMTHING? JEEZ! WHAT MORON WANTS TO READ ABOUT NADIL AND RUNE TOGETHER ANYWAY???!!! Sorry about that, I just get really pissed sometimes...

Flying-Cesia: Yes it does!!! And I am mad at you. You got 'My Happy Ending' srtuck in my head. You will pay...

Terra89: Like I said, I'm grounded...

-sings along to No More Words-

Miyabi: Her favorite song!

Elfin Kagome: KITTO! KITTO! BOKUTACHI WA!

Miyabi: Eep!

* * *

Thatz sighed. "I'm bored again."

-Why don't you make more crank calls?-

"Okay!"

Thatz 'randomly' dialed a number and waited for the dial tone. He frowned. "It's busy."

At the other end of Thatz's crank call....

"You just learned how to make brownies? That's great!" Rune said happily into the phone. "Why? Well, there was this moron making blonde jokes." There was a pause. "Yes, I know. I know. Are you kidding? I love those sandwiches! Alright, bye." Rune hung up, only to be greeted by the phone ringing again. "Hello?"

"RUNE, YOU MORON! NADIL HAS TO GET SURGERY IN FOUR MINUTES! THREE!" Rune winced. Ah. Dealte had found him.

* * *

Ringleys grumbled under his breath as he flew to room 214. "Dealte was supposed to do this, but she didn't want to, so now I have to! It's not fair!"

He flew in and glanced around at the small crowd of people. "Uh, so you want to work here?"

"Yeesssss." They chorused.

"Okay, um, the current positions we are offering are nurse-in-training, cafeteria assistant, plastic surgeon, and child psychiatrist. Any questions?"

Shyrendora raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Why are you offering plastic surgeon?"

Ringleys shrugged. "Rune says he won't do it. Oddly enough though, he does do abortions."

Everyone in the room shrugged.

"So...any takers for that job?"

A few random crickets chirped.

The small fairy raised an eyebrow. "Okay... why are there crickets in here? Anyway, any more questions?"

Miyabi raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"Why are you offering child psychiatrist?"

"Cesia says the adults are bad enough, she doesn't want to deal with the kids." Ringleys rolled his eyes. "So anyhow, is that all the questions?"

"Yessss." The seven people in the room droned.

"Now first of all, to apply for a job here, fill out this handy-dandy application form." Ringleys pulled said application forms out of thin air. "We will only accept one child pych, and two nurses-in-training."

Later...

"Okay, you've filled out your forms, now for who we will be putting on probation."

"Probation?" Shyrendora shrieked.

"Yes, there are a few..."Ringleys eyes shifted, "tests."

The audience blinked.

"Anyway, the two candidates for nurse-in-training are Miyabi and Random Lady #28. The candidate for child psychiatrist is Tintlet. The only person who applied for plastic surgeon was Shydeman. And sorry, but your application is invalid."

"Why?" Shydeman wailed.

Ringleys held up the contract. "In the part that says 'Do Not Write In This Space', you wrote 'Okay'."

Tintlet and Miyabi sweatdropped.

"Can I have a name please?" Random Lady #28 asked.

Ringleys shrugged. "If it's okay with the authoress." He looked up. "A real name would be easier to type, anyway."

The door suddenly opened, and a girl with long dark hair and a black cloak stepped in, wearing a black t-shirt with a weird logo on it and black pants.

Ringleys blinked. "Uh, who are you?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "I'm Elfin Kagome. You know, the authoress?"

Shyrendora stared "You're shorter than me!"

Elfin Kagome narrowed her eyes and pointed a finger at Shyrendora. The demon became surrounded by a pink light and shrunk to the size of a.... baby pig.

The authoress smirked. "Not anymore."

Ringleys gulped. "Uh, so, what are you doing here?"

Elfin Kagome shrugged. "Random Lady #28 wanted a name, so I decided to step in and give her one."

Random Lady# 28: Thanks!

"Why did we just switch to script format?" Miyabi asked.

"Because I'm lazy."

"Uh, not to be rude or anything, but what's with the black cloak?" Tintlet said nervously.

Elfin Kagome shrugged again. "Just for the dramatic effect. And don't worry, Tintlet, I wouldn't hurt you. You're my second favorite character!"

"Who's the first?" Tintlet wondered.

"Rune."

Tintlet: D

"There we go with the script format again." Ringleys complained.

"When am I gonna get a name?" Random Lady # 28 wailed.

"Fine, fine." The authoress rolled her eyes. "Sheesh. Your name is-"

Suddenly the tune of "Edelvisse' was heard, very loudly.

"Oh, it's my cell-phone." E. Kagome explained. She pulled a flip phone out of her coat pocket and flipped it open. "Hello?"

* * *

Earth held up a sign.

-You finally called somebody else!-

Thatz nodded happily and spoke into the phone "Would you like to buy a humpback whale?"

* * *

"A humpback whale? Hmm, how about a beluga, they're more kawaii." Everyone else in the room sweatdropped.

* * *

"Uh, okay, Whale Inc. will send it to you within two days!"

* * *

Elfin Kagome sweatdropped. "Thatz, you moron, I know it's you."

* * *

"Who's Thatz?" Thatz said a little too quickly.

* * *

"You!" the authoress hung up. "Anyway, from now on, Random Lady #28 is Chi. This already took too long."

"Yay!" Chi cheered.

"Um, look! Rune with dog ears!" Elfin Kagome pointed up.

Everyone turned to look. Meanwhile, Elfin Kagome swept her cloak around her dramatically and disappeared.

"Well, anyway," Ringleys continued when everyone had turned back around, "unless you have a recommendation from a staff member here, Chi, Miyabi and Tintlet are now here on probation. Come back today at 5:00pm."

--At 5:00 pm—

Miyabi and the newly named Chi walked up to the front desk, where Ringleys was currently sitting and drinking a Latte.

"Why isn't Tintlet here?" Miyabi asked.

"She had a recommendation from a staff member." Ringleys explained "Now follow me." He flew over to room 184.

"There's a room 184?" Chi asked.

"Very long hallways." Miyabi answered.

Ringleys suddenly yelled "Party of TWO for FIVE! Over!"

The door swung open to reveal.... A party.

Everyone was dancing to Avril Lavigne's 'Sk8ter Boi' (which Elfin Kagome made them play just to torture Flying-Cesia), except for Thatz who was over at the enormous refreshment table.

Chi and Miyabi: "..."

"There we go with that script format again." Ringleys commented "Anyway, this is to see if you can put up with the insanity of our hospital." With that, he flew away towards the refreshment table.

"Food! Yummy!" Cesia suddenly said, while Thatz unexpectedly shouted "Where's Rath?"

Rath blinked. "What just happened?"

"I think their speech bubbles got mixed up." Rune explained.

"Oh."

"I wanna be the DJ!" Kitchel wailed.

"THIS IS TOO INSANE!" Chi suddenly screamed and ran out of the room.

"I guess that's why she didn't have a name." Miyabi remarked. "Poor thing didn't even last five minutes."

The song suddenly switched to Avril Lavigne's Complicated.

"I think I see a pattern here..." Rune said slowly.

Suddenly a scroll fell from the sky and landed in front of him.

"What is this, Dream Saga?" Rune nevertheless picked up the scroll, unrolled it and read.

**Let Kitchel be the DJ!!!**

**Signed, Elfin Kagome**

Rune shrugged and went over to Kitchel. "The authoress wants you to be the DJ!"

--Five minutes Later—

Kitchel was seated at the DJ's uh, place-thingy, and was trying to be a good DJ and failing. So the 'nice' Nadil went up to help her.

Thatz immediately decided he had never liked Nadil. "Who does he think he is, cozying up to Kicthel like that?" Thatz growled.

Miyabi snickered at Thatz's obvious jealousy.

Suddenly, at the closing of 'Change the World', Kitchel's voice came on the speaker.

"Okay, minna, now that I've figured out how to work this thing, the next song is a special request from our lovely authoress!"

Elfin Kagome suddenly appeared next to Dealte, now dressed in a Japanese school uniform. "Nice dance party, isn't it?"

To everyone's surprise, the song that came on next was...a tango.

"Oh, cool! I know this one! C'mon Cesia!" Rath dragged Cesia onto the dance floor (who fortunately knew how to tango also). 'Conveniently' enough, there was nobody else dancing.

"Move it back people!" Elfin Kagome shoved people back off the dance floor. "It only takes two to tango y'know!"

Everyone watched the couple on the dance floor. They were actually pretty good. ((But since I've never really seen anyone dance a tango, much less danced it myself, I'll leave it to your imagination and wander off on a tangent.))

The authoress glanced around. "Um, out of curiosity, does anyone else know how to tango?"

Blank stares.

"Welllll..." Elfin Kagome started.

Then the tango ended.

"Thatz, you know how to tango, right?" the authoress said quickly.

"No."

E Kagome pointed at him, and he was zapped with blue light.

"Now you do." The authoress ran up to Kitchel. "KITCHEL!"  
"What?"

"Let me be the DJ, I just remembered a song I know." A devious grin spread over the authoress's face. "Oh, and-"she flicked a finger at Kitchel and the cast disappeared from her leg and reappeared on her wrist. "You can dance now."

Elfin Kagome turned on the mike. "Minna genki? The next song is called 'Le Tango De Roxanne, and it's from the movie Moulin Rouge!"

* * *

A/N: Is that a cliffe?


	7. Kitchel: The Party Animal

A/N: As I sat here looking at the blank document, I wondered, Where the hell is my keyboard? As you can see, I did find it eventually.

Disclaimer: If I owned Dragon Knights or the song "Le Tango De Roxanne", let alone both, I wouldn't be sitting in my brothers old room typing this out on an ancient Windows who-knows-when. Oh no. I'd probably have a brand new laptop that worked super fast and would be currently up in Hokkaido. Or I might not be typing this at all.

A/N 2: I was going to write out what happened at the dance, but it was wayyyy too hard. I do feel a little sad about killing the funny scene where Thatz and Kitchel were dancing, though.T-T

A/N 3: Whee! I'm high on piano practice (as weird as that may sound)! I actually enjoy practicing piano, at least I do depending on the piece. My current favorite is my Sonatina.

* * *

Thatz walked down the hallway, humming the tango from yesterday. _It's not fair. _He thought glumly _Rath got to impress Cesia with his dance skills, and vice-versa, but I just_ had _to be born with two left feet. Fortunately Kitchel's no Ginger Rodgers herself._

"Delivery for Dr. Rune!"

Dealte glanced up from her desk, where she was meticulously doodling pictures of hospital employees in their "true forms". "I'll take it." Dealte scribbled a signature and paged Ringleys. "Ringleys? You're on duty, I want to look at this."

In a few minutes, Ringleys showed up, grumbling about being a slave.

Dealte ran off to an empty room and opened the package. There was a large metal box sitting there with a glass window. Dealte looked in the window and shrieked.

"What happened?" Nohiro dashed in.

Dealte blinked. "Nohiro? I haven't seen you since the first chapter. What are you doing here?"

"I'm the windowwasher." He explained "Now what happened? Is Rune really a girl? Can I marry her?"

Dealte glared at him "Do you see Rune here? No. So Rune is not a girl and you can not marry _him._ I thought you were going out with Hanakusuku?"

"We broke up." Nohiro said cheerfully. "She and I didn't really see eye to eye on some political issues."

"I'd ask what," Dealte began "but then we'd be completely off tangent. You know how the authoress gets carried away sometimes."

"Right. So what happened?"

Dealte pointed to the tank. "Look in the window. This was sent to Rune."

Nohiro looked, then screamed like a girl and jumped into Dealte's arms like Scooby-Doo. "Holy shit! Who or what in it's right mind would send a doctor a giant octopus???!!!"

"I don't know." Dealte unceremoniously dumped Nohiro on the floor and walked out of the room.

"I'm bored." Kitchel announced loudly in the middle of a game of billiards.

Rune knocked a 4 ball into the corner pocket and straightened up. "How could you possibly be bored? We're playing billiards in a hospital! We could always have your check-up instead..." he threatened.

"Nah. Let's throw a party!" Kitchel ran off to invite people.

Rune blinked, shrugged, and went back to billiards.

"Well, just about everyone made it to the party so far." Raseleane commented.

"Where's Thatz?" Ringleys asked, Dealte being back at the desk.

"Wherever he is, this'll get him.' Kitchel declared.

Thatz was sitting around, playing poker with Earth, when his head suddenly perked up. "I know something important is happening in the board room!" he dashed out without another word.

Meanwhile, Kitchel happened to be shaking a cocktail.

Miyabi sweatdropped. "What are you doing?"

Ringleys had seen this happen before. "Go find Thatz and you'll see."

Miyabi suddenly did a costume change into spy-wear, consisting of a black catsuit that looked kinda neat with her red hair and green eyes. She put on her spidy gloves and climbed along the ceiling until she found Thatz. "I don't believe it!" she exclaimed. "Thatz telepathically knew Kitchel was putting out the food!"

Rath began poking a stuffed teddy bear Kitchel had placed on the floor for decoration. "I'm bored."

"Then it's a good thing I brought...this!" Kitchel exclaimed, whipping out a can of silly string and shooting some at a random patient who just happened to be there.

"Hey, no fair! I want a can!" Cesia shouted.

Kitchel tossed her one and they both began shooting silly string everywhere.

Rune and Tintlet both screamed and dashed under the table, where they were partially protected by the table cloth.

"Oh, God, somebody help us!" Rune shouted.

Elfin Kagome suddenly materialized behind them, today clad in a black turtleneck and light-colored skirt with a black stripe. "You rang?"

Rune blinked. "Huh?"

Elfin Kagome sweatdropped. "Look, I _am_ the resident god of this universe."

"Ohhh..."

"So what did you want?"

"They're shooting silly string around outside." Tintlet explained

"Kyaaaaa!" Elfin Kagome screamed. "I'm glad I materialized under here!"

"Well spellcheck certainly thinks that's a misspelled word." Rune commented.

"Way to break the third wall, genius!" Elfin Kagome and Tintlet snapped.

"Wait, don't tell me you're afraid of silly string too?" Tintlet wailed, looking back a few lines.

"Of course!" Elfin Kagome snapped "I always hide under tables when silly string is concerned!"

Meanwhile....

"Omigod, Nohiro, you, like, broke up with Hana-K?" Kitchel gasped, while stirring a punch glass.

Nohiro nodded. "Yeah, but please drop the valley girl act."

"Er, sorry."

"Anyway, you should have seen the way she dances! Yeesh...she needs a new profession. Badly."

Meanwhile...

Raseleane had sneaked over to the cd player. "Hmm...what should I play? I think we've all had enough Avril..."

Shian popped up. "I wanna be DJ! Let me! Let me!"

Back under the table...

Elfin Kagome twitched. "My authoress sense is tingling!" Then she burst out laughing and fell onto the floor (not a long way seeing as she was on hands and knees already).

Rune and Tintlet sweatdropped.

"...hydrant..." the authoress spluttered and vanished, leaving behind a little post-it.

Tintlet picked it up and read.

**Normally I'd do a scroll, but I'm in a hurry, Sorry about the cracking up thing. Inside joke....anyway, they've stopped with the silly string. You can get out from under the table now.**

**Kagome**

Meanwhile back at the DJ stand......

Shian was on the floor, digging through a giant pile of CD's and records. "Man," she muttered "Thatz should really organize this."

Suddenly a CD fell off the top of the pile and hit her in the head. "Ow!"

Shian picked up the CD and looked at it. Befor eshe could see what the CD was, there was a post it on it.

**Message to the Readers! This would be a good time to tell you that Shian, Miyabi, HanaKusuku and Ringleys can change size at will! Shian is currently normal size!**

**-Elfin Kagome**

**P.S. Shian, Nohiro says he is your father.**

Shian blinked and threw the post it away. "No idea what that was..." She glanced at the CD, which had a picture of a girl on it and said 'Un Fille Comme Moi' and 'Priscilla'.

The fairy shrugged and put it in, randomly flicking to track 8.

Immediately, French music began blasting, to the shock of the people in the room who were idiots.

"Oh!" Shian realized. "It was a _French _CD! No wonder I couldn't read half of it...."

* * *

A/N: I leave it to you to pick who the idiots were. If anyone cares (probably not) the track Shian played was called 'Jalousie'. So.....review! And I'll start working on the next chapter!

Oh yeah...reviewer responses...

Ian: Ooh, thanks.

Lady Dragonnaine: I was uber-sleepy last night too, I got home at 1 am. ::sighs::

ojosnegro: Just check out aquajogger's profile. She writes ThatzKitchel, and is actually organizing a Thatchel wave!

Flying-Cesia: Grr... Just wait, you'll get yours! ::kills a demon:: Hah! I killed one that you didn't get to kil!!

aquajogger: I am loved! Yay!

Kagome-reincarnation: Thank you!

Terra89: Sadly, by the time I saw your review, I was already half-way through the chapter. I plan on doing a Rath chapter soon, though. And I have plans for Alfeegi, followed by the rest!

Phoenix Feather: I absolutely love 'Kingdom hearts in my stupid version'! I'm glad you like my fic!

SpinningAvia: You think I'm a great author? Wow, I'm really flattered! -sweatdrops- Yeah, that was me over the phone....it also might have had somethign to do with the fact that Emily was chewing on my knee...ow...

Okay, minna, until next time!


	8. Lim Kanna Gets Plastered and bashed

Disclaimer: Hmm…..seeing that I own a few Dragon Knights books and this Rune pin –points to pin on her shirt- I'd say I _wasn't _Mineko Ohkami, ne?

A/N: The beginning part is based on Social Studies today (currently the 23rd of December), and homeroom. My class is insane. And proud of it.

* * *

A few hours later (Kitchel is a real party animal….), Shian had exhausted her supply of French CD's, and was nearly done with the show tunes. She was currently on the Vanity Fair soundtrack.

Everyone was beginning to get bored.

* * *

A mysterious figure crept over to the supply of candy canes…. 

"Hehehe!" the figure cackled, dunking the candy canes in a bucket and taking them out….

* * *

"I'm hungry!" Thatz whined.

"You're always hungry!" Rune and Cesia shouted.

"He _is, _isn't he?" Rath said thoughtfully.

"Why don't you have a candy cane?" Kitchel suggested. "Hana-kusuku loves 'em!"

Hana-kusuku in question had fallen against the wall and was laughing hysterically for no reason, with a candy cane sticking out of her mouth.

"Good enough for me!" Thatz said cheerfully.

* * *

A few minutes later, just about everyone had eaten a candy cane, except for Rune and Tintlet.

Coincidentally, everyone was acting….odd. Veddy, veddy odd.

"The authoress made a typo!" Ringleys shouted.

I did not! I did that on purpose you fool!

"Oh."

It was an extremely tipsy Shian that put in a new CD, and switched to a track. "Oh-kay, everybody!" Shian squealed. "This is a little ditty about the explorer, Magician! I mean Magellan…"

And she put on "The Ballad of Magellan"

Sung by the Animanics

A.k.a cartoon characters.

**Oh, there once was an explorer called something Magellan!**

Shian began to do a cheerful dance, marching in place and swinging her arms back and forth. Miyabi and Hana-kusuku soon joined.

**Hi, ho, oops goes Magellan!**

Soon Thatz and Rath were dancing around in a circle with their arms hooked.

Actually everyone was doing some pretty weird dancing, or singing along.

Again with the exception of Rune and Tintlet.

Rune raised his eyebrows. "Okay, who spiked the candy canes?"

Tintlet snickered.

"What are you snickering about?" Rune asked in irritation.

"It was me!" Tintlet gasped, doubling over in laughter. "Oh my, I don't think I've ever seen anything so funny!"

Rune began to snicker too. "You-you spiked the candy canes? With what?"

"With-with vodka!"

Both un-drunk blondes were cracking up now, actually nearly rolling on the floor.

**And then Magellan shouted "Hi-ho!" and got hit with a spear!**

"Why- why'd Kitchel bring vodka?" Rune spluttered.

"I don't know!" But-but, it's too perfect!"

Now they _were_ rolling on the floor.

All the drunk people groaned when the song ended.

"Again! Again!" Garfacky shouted from somewhere.

There was then a mass struggle to get to the CD player and replay the song. Ringleys ended up being the one, using flight to his advantage. Hana-Kusuku, Miyabi and Shian were apparently so drunk they forgot they had wings….

As the song repeated, after a while Rune and Tintlet finally made it off the floor (with much difficulty).

While they were down, somebody had started a can-can line, and now Kitchel, Thatz, Rath, Cesia, Shian, Miyabi, Lim Kanna and Nadil were trying to do a pants version of the Rockettes, and having a little trouble, with legs and arms flying everywhere. It looked fun, though.

"Shall we join?" Rune asked Tintlet.

"Of course!"

With the two extra kickers, the line was having even _more _trouble. Especially Nadil, in his high heels.

* * *

Two hours later…

**((Alert! This is where the Lim bashing happens! If you don't like it, skip this part!))**

Almost everyone had left. The people who were left were Rath, Cesia, Thatz, Kicthel, Rune, Tintlet, Lim Kanna, Nohiro and Dealte.

"So, Cesia, do you agree? Cesia?" Rath sweatdropped. She had passed out on the couch.

Meanwhile, Lim Kanna was flirting shamelessly with Rune. Needless to say, this got Tintlet a little pissed off.

"Sooo.." Lim slurred "How'z a bout choo and me get together sometime? Ya know, alooone." Lim winked and slammed her hand on the table, slipping and banging her head on the table.

A few tables away, Tintlet's eyebrow deliberately ticked.

"Uh.." Rune nervously edged away from the obviously plastered demon. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"Oh..c'mon. Don't be shy now, nobodyz gonna know." Lim said drunkenly, trying to give another wink, but giving her eye a twitch instead (think Inspector Dreyfuss of A Shot In The Dark).

Tintlet slammed her fists down, shattering twelve wine glasses. "That. Is. It!" she hissed, and stomped over there, breaking a lot of things in the process.

"YOU!" She hollered. "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM YOU GARDEN TOOL!" (A/N: Volcabulary courtesy of my English class, lol))

Lim Kanna blinked, slowly wobbling in her seat. Apparently Tintlet was talking too fast. "Whaddya mean, jealous blondie?"

For Tintlet, that was the last straw.

CRACK!

Everyone left in the room (and a few people outside) turned to see the source of the noise.

Kitchel stared at the unconscious Lim on the floor. "Whoa. Never piss off Rune's girlfriend." She made a mental note to stay far, far, away from either of them when they were angry. Preferably somewhere in Arinas…

* * *

Well, the party was over. And everyone, being the nice people they were, had decided to leave the hungry cook, Cesia's weird psychology patient, and Dr. Rune to clean everything up. Doubtless to say, the three were _not _happy. In fact, they were extremely ticked off.

"I can't believe this!" Rune ranted as he ran around the room with the vacuum cleaner.

"Oh, believe it." Rath grumbled, sweeping the crap into piles for Rune to vacuum. "Nobody else wants to do the work, so they shove it on the last people left. I don't even work here!"

"I barely even get paid!" Rune retorted. "Would you care to actually do some work, Thatz?!"

"I am!" Thatz said indignantly from the food table.

Rune deadpanned. "Eating the leftovers does not count as helping."

"It doesn't?"

Suddenly, Rune's vaccum cleaner (which was plugged into the wall socket) stopped working.

"What the f-" And all the lights went off.

* * *

A/N: That's all for now! ducks tomatos Hey, hey, if you kill me you'll never find out what happens!

Hint: If you were in New York City last August, you might have an idea what is happening....

Reviewer responses, now.

**SpinningAvia: **Sadly, yes. I think we all hope it doesn't have rabies....Speaking of which (not really), when are you and Flying-Cesia gonna update Phys Ed? If I put in a plug for it here, will you update?

**Yokai no Miko: **As I said, the Legolas refrences were based on a real thing with me and Thatz (seriously her pen name). After it happened, I decided to throw that in. But seriously, I keep saying that Legolas DOES look girly! I got my octopus thing from the movie "The Man Who Came To Dinner". But I am indeed a Tako fan, thanks to Maia (RandoMaia).

**RathIlluser-012: **Thanks! Gaa! Silly string! -hides behind Raseleane-

**ShadowDown: **Thank you, thank you!

**aquajogger: **Eeep! I'm really sorry. But I have a future Thatchel chapter planned, and the epilogue will be enjoyed by fans of Thatchel, R/C, and RuneTintlet alike! Hmmm...and then there's that little Dracula plotline that keeps threatining to invade..

**Terra89: **I was going to upload this morning, but my evil brother wouldn't let me on....stupidhead control freak...-mutters darkly-

**Azuki-Onigiris: **My friends liked that part too!

**loser with a llama: **Oooh. Llamas. I strive for randomness! Hmm, perhaps a consultation with my friend, the queen of random, the almighty RandoMaia, is in order...  
Who's grey heaven?

Now for a shamless plug.

If you like humor, read SpinningAvia (and co-written by Flying-Cesia)'s Phys Ed! It's really funny!

-gets bonked by an Avril god for making such a lame plug-

Thanks to the readers of Mayday!


	9. Blind Chaos: The Short Plot Begins!

"Damn! What happened to the lights!" Thatz hollered.  
Rune frowned. "There must have been a blackout. The sad part is, none of us are holding anything anymore, because the authoress hasn't touched this story in so long that she forgot what was going on."  
Rath sighed. "I hope she hasn't forgotten our personalities. I still like demons."  
A rafter that wasn't there ten seconds ago dropped onto Rath's head. "Ow!"  
Thatz and Rune spun randomly around. "What! What happened!" Rune shouted.  
"Did you get hit by a flying scone?" Thatz asked eagerly.  
"In case you can't see us, we're deadpanning you." Rune informed him.  
"What the heck is that sappy music?" Thatz wondered.  
The authoress promptly whacked him on the head. "That's Gerard Butler. Now shut up about my new obsession and get back to what little plot there is left!" She stomped out very loudly so the boys could hear her leave.  
"It's a tad ironic that Jer Ard what's-his-face is singing about night while we're stuck in it." Rath mused.  
Rune snorted.  
Thatz whimpered. "Guys"  
"Demon?" Rath responded.  
"This might be a bad time to let you know, butI'm afraid of the dark." Thatz said nervously.  
Rune groaned. "Oh, Dragon Lord. I'm stuck in a hospital at two in the morning with a therapy case and a bad cook who's afraid of the dark! With no electricity!"  
"I guess that means we can't phone my mommy and have her tell me nice happy stories about ponies?" Thatz said mournfully.  
"Demon ponies?" Rath said eagerly.  
"COULD WE CUT IT OUT WITH THE BLOODY MUSIC!" Rune hollered, unexpectedly snapping at the innocent show tunes.  
"Demon music?" Rath asked.  
"Oh shut up!" Rune snapped. "If we only had a little fire..WAIT A DARN SECOND!" Rune slowly spun around and poked Rath. "You are Rath, aren't you?"  
"Demon Rath!"  
"Yes, yes." Rune said impatiently. "Summon Fire, for cripes sake!"  
Rath blinked. "Um, Fire, they want to see you?"  
There was a long silence. "Fire, I can't see your signs. Could you please make it a little lighter?"  
There was a cracking sound, and suddenly the three boys could see each other and Fire.  
"DRAGGY!" Thatz shouted and hugged Fire.  
---HELP!--- Fire held up his sign frantically. "Get your own dragon!" Rath snapped.  
Earth flew out and floated irritably above Thatz. Thatz promptly let go of Fire and grabbed Earth. "Earthy! Good draggy, good draggy."  
Rune moaned and smacked his forehead. "I think Thatz has reverted back to childhood. Now I'm stuck with two therapy cases, and no Cesia in sight." Rune glared fiercely at the ceiling and waved his fist at it. "DAMN YOU KITCHEL!"  
"I know just how you feel." Thatz said sadly. "She stole my chocolate sundae."  
After a good deal of stumbling around and banging around into walls, the three finally acknowledged that they were tired, and needed sleep. Unfortunately, they couldn't find beds, so they were forced to settle for a broom closet.  
"Thatz," Rune said desperately, for the love of Kitchel, could you PLEASE be normal for five seconds and sleep the same way as the rest of us? Your feet are right under my nose, and they REALLY smell.  
I don't wanna! Thatz whined, pulling the sheet up to his chin, and snuggling the near-faint Earth dragon under his chin.  
Rath yelped as the blanket they were all sharing ostensibly shot down two inches. THATZ! You're not the only one in the bloody closet! STOP HOGGING THE COVERS!  
A loud series of snores alerted the demonic boy that the cook was not all there.  
Rath sulkily kicked a random mop. Stupid Thatz...wish he was a demon so I could kill him.  
Hey, you try sleeping with his feet under your nose! Rune said indignantly, shoving the unconcious human's feet at Rath.  
Rath rolled his eyes. They're probably not that bad.  
One whiff and he was out for the count.  
Rune sighed, bunching himself uncomfortably under what remained of the covers. Well, might as well take advantage of the silence while it lasts.  
Just as the doctor was about to go to sleep, a loud foghorn blasted, jolting him and the other two out of the closet.  
Rath blinked, and rubbed his eyes. Hey, the lights are on!  
Thatz snored, and muttered something into Earth's back.  
Rune stood up and walked over to the now visible desk. There was a small piece of paper folded in the shape of a crane sitting there- with the words OPEN HERE' printed neatly on one wing.  
As the doctor unfolded the origami, Rath walked over to him. What is it?  
Rune read the note silently, and then crumpled it up, throwing it over his shoulder and slamming his fist down on Delte's already-much-abused-table. It's a ransom note.  
Rath picked up the note and read it out loud.  
**_To whom it may concern- or, rather, Dr. Minamo Rune, Chef' Kurosaki Thatz-  
_**I resent having my profession referred to with little quotes around it! Thatz said indignantly, having woken up.  
**_- and Ryu Rath,  
While you idiots were running around your fool hospital like- well, like idiots, I have taken the opportunity to steal some things I believe you will miss very much. You will find that Miss Kinomoto Tintlett, Miss Kaitou Kitchel, and Miss Urameshi Cesia are, well, you won't find them, if you get my drift.  
Should you wish to get them back, you will, individually, go to the towers of Water, Earth, and Wind, where they are hidden, respectfully. Garfacky says that this is giving you too much information, but I disagree.  
I will tell you what I require when you have fufilled this condition.  
And now- for my evil laugh.  
Ahem.  
Ahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha! AhahahAAAA!  
- The Demon Alchemist_** Rath finished. Well, there's a therapy case just _waiting_ to happen. I mean, who sits down and _writes_ an evil laugh (1)?  
That nutter gave us way too much info. Thatz said dryly. It sounds like he _wants us_ to rescue them or something.  
Then let's _get a bloody move-on!_ Rune growled. Are you two coming or what?  
Rath shrugged. Cesia can take care of herself.  
Thatz shrugged. Kitchel too.  
This time Rune didn't stop to think. He tore the desk off of the floor, and literally hurled it through the window. FINE! WELL I'M GOING TO RESCUE TINTLET, AND THE OTHERS IF NEED BE! He stormed through the door.   
Rath and Thatz gaped at him.  
Thatz said finally. There's a guy with a _load_ of pent up agression.  
Totally another Cesia patient. Rath commented. Besides, he overreacted. I never said I wasn't going, just that it wasn't to rescue Cesia. I mean, a DEMON Alchemist!  
Grinning wildly, the slightly psychotic boy hopped on his dragon and flew away, in a different direction than Rune.  
Thatz said flatly. Just keep telling yourself that. In the meantime, I think I'll go on a little quest for myself. After all- he added, walking out, Kitchel'll kill me if I don't at least try.

A/N: And so we leave our rather nutty heros going a-questing for their loves- who may or may not like it where they are.  
In further news, look a plot! This has like three chapters left- one for Thatz, one for Rath, and one for Rune, though not nessecarily in that order. Then I may put in an epilouge. In fact, I insist on one.  
Now for some delightful hinting at what lies ahead, to keep you interested (and hopefully I will never be this long again, considering school's now out).  
THATZ- Has got a dance sequence coming up! Because I felt bad about chickening out with Roxanne, this time it's set.  
RATH- Is going to be smart, and contact the one person very likely to help- if she feels like it. Hmm, Cesia doesn't like towers...  
RUNE- Has got a fight scene coming up! Because we all know that he'd never let a guy get away with hurting Tintlet, now would he? No, he wouldn't.  
(1) A direct quote from Terry Pratchett's Maskerade.  
Well, review responses:  
Terra89: Thank you. I personally love Tintlet and Rune, but these days Tintlet is my favorite character. Firstly, she's so pretty! Secondly, I love how devoted she is to Rune. It's really sweet. My love of her rose even more when, in book 18 she helped Rune make Lim Kanna a faerie. When others asked her why she wasn't jealous, she replied that she loved Rune so much that she trusted him implicitly, and was sure that he was right. I think this proves she's a wonderful person- and no, I'm not anti-feminist.  
ShadowDown: Yes, perhaps our dear Tintlet isn't quite as innocent as she seems...  
bananaluvie-rc: Bling! Correct!  
aquajogger: (sweatdrops) Okay, so it kinda shows, doesn't it? I got really pissed at 19, though. Is it just me, or is the series going down in quality?  
SpinningAvia: Hooray for Lim Kanna bashers! You didn't update...although maybe last night? Or sometime this summer, anyway...well, now you may never update because of the FMA obsession...  
loser with a llama: At the end of the year, my school got into a cult obsession with llamas...pardon my randomness.  
The Shadowess: (hands you a chocolate liqor spiked candy-cane) Enjoy. I have been trying to spike this candy-cane, but it came out all wrong...  
brianna: Thank you! Sorry about the wait- DK has been going down in quality, in my opinion- and this Phantom of the Opera obsession is driving me insaaaaaane...  
lena: Yay for Rune fans!  
Old Fiat: Me loveses Yu Yu Hakusho. Me is obsessed with Kurama. So. Damn. Cool! (is hit on the head by InuYasha) Fine, I won't go on again about Kurama...


	10. The Crossover Chapter: Rath

A/N: It finally occured to me to try to work on another of my summer goals- FINISH DH!  
So anyway, here's the Rath chapter.  
And, despite the fact that I'm not the Dragon Knights freak I was last summer, I will continue to write DK fics. Why? Because I still adore Rune/Tintlet, and there's still not enough, and I still have several RT drafts lying around with real potential. Look out, DK fandom, cuz I have a oneshot, a Miyazaki spinoff, and an original epic on the way!  
...Someday.

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Fire held up a sign. --Where to, Master?--

Rath frowned. "Um...let me think...who got us into this mess?"

--Kharl?--

Rath's head shot up. "Of course! The authoress! TO THE AUTHORESS, FIRE!"

Fire rolled his eyes, and flew in a random direction, since the only way they were possibly going to find the authoress was if she wanted them to find her.

"FASTER!"

Seeing some flying demons ahead, Rath stuck his sword out, impaling them as he flew by.  
Rath giggled insanely. "Shish-kabobs!"

_I should have worked for Batman..._ Fire thought. _Other than the occasional loud "TO THE BAT CAVE, ROBIN!", he was at least sane. Stupid, but sane.  
-  
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_Meanwhile, in feudal Japan...

"OW!" The authoress screamed. "Damn, I can't believe I burned the instant ramen again!"

Hermione Granger, who was currently serving as Aeriel of Isternes's indentured servant,  
raised an eyebrow. "How hard is it to make ramen?"

"Don't be such a smartass, Hermione." The authoress griped. "You try making instant ramen in a pot over a campfire, and see how well you do!"

Hermione shrugged. "Okay."

The authoress clambered up into a tree to watch. "Y'know, it's getting really annoying, typing ëthe authoress' all the time. And ëAeriel of Isternes' really sounds grammatically incorrect. Tell you what- I'm just going to go by Aeriel for the rest of the chapter."

"Why Aeriel?" Hermione asked, stirring the ramen. "It bears very little resemblance to your real name."

Aeriel shrugged. "Yeah, but it's only three letters! So easy to type..."

The two girls suddenly heard two distant shouts.

"DEEEEEEMONNNNNS!"

and

"SANKOU TESSOU!"

"Ignore the second shout." Aeriel said quickly. "Rath's coming."

Hermione (who was from the Harry Potter fandom, in case you didn't know) blinked. "Who's Rath?"

Aeriel tossed the witch a volume of Dragon Knights. "The black-haired boy."

"Oh. That Rath."

Right on cue, Rath and Fire fell from the sky, making a giant hole in the ground near the campfire.

Hermione, who had become engrossed in Dragon Knights, and forgotten about the ramen, idly waved her hand towards the new arrivals, not looking up. "Be quiet, I'm reading."

Rath stared at her. "Authoress?"

Aeriel waved from the tree. "Hi!"

Rath sweatdropped. "Who's this, then?"

The authoress rolled her eyes. "Not important. Just my indentured servant from the Harry Potter fandom. You're here because of- HERMIONE! YOU BURNED THE BLOODY RAMEN!"

Hermione jumped, and sure enough, the noodles had gone black. Aeriel sighed. "Never mind, never mind, Rath doesn't want ramen anyway. Just dump the stuff, okay?"

Rath shuddered. Mood swings...perhaps coming here had been a bad idea.

"No it wasn't!" Aeriel said brightly. "Brilliant idea, actually. Thatz, of course, is going to get lost, and Rune is going to get pissed, but asking for directions is making much better progress."

"So you know where Cesia is?" Rath asked eagerly.

"Well, duh." Aeriel said dryly. "Who's writing this thing, anyway? You or me?"

"You, obviously."

"Thank you." Aeriel said briskly, climbing out from the tree. "Please ignore the sound effects as I search for the right map and mirror. HERMIONE!"

The witch jumped. "Coming, mistress K-"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT HERE!"

"Fine, fine." Hermione muttered. "Here's the bloody suitcase, then."

"Thank you, ëMione." Aeriel said brightly. "Excuse me Rath, I have to dig through here."

Then, to the half-youkai's surpise, the authoress opened the bag, and dived right in, vanishing.

"She likes to show off." The bushy haired servant explained. "A sucker for the supernatural, she is. Oh, and stories with demons."

"Does that mean there's demons here?" Rath asked eagerly.

"Maybe, maybe." Hermione said cryptically. "But I would not advise you to go hunting them. She'll kill you off if she discovers you've been meddling with her friends and casts of other fanfictions. Like she said, ignore the background noises."

"SPIRIT GUN!"

"Like that." Hermione added.

Rath blinked.

For the next ten minutes, Rath had to sit through all sorts of annoying noises. One reoccuring noise that started to really get on his nerves was:

"ATAREI! ATAREI! ATAREI!"

Just when he was about to scream, a head popped up from the bag. "I'm back!" Aeriel said cheerfully, climbing out with a map in hand. "I hope you didn't get too annoyed, and nobody attacked.

Rath struck a pose shamelessly ripped off from Fullmetal Alchemist. "I would have killed them all anyway."

"And then I would have killed you." Aeriel said blithely. "Despite the fact that this is feudal Japan, you can also hear stuff from far away stories that I'm obsessed with."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

This time, everyone blinked.

"Whoa." The authoress said slowly. "Even I didn't except to hear Darth Vader. Possibly Elton John, for some weird reason, but not Darth Vader."

"Who's-"

"Never mind, never mind." Aeriel said quickly. "Look, I'm just going to give you your stuff soon before I accidentally infringe on a copyright I wasn't supposed to. Some people will actually sue you for fanfiction, it seems."

"That's stupid." Hermione observed. "It's rather conceited of them to think that every fan is so idiotic that they can't possible hit on a personality even remotely like the original. I mean, look at The Phantom of the Opera. There have been some pretty crappy intepretations of him, and those were LEGAL."

Aeriel shuddered. "Don't remind me of that evil Spanish movie with the rats. Gods, that thing was traumitizing."

"Don't ask." Hermione whispered. "She goes insane whenever she sees a rat now. She seems to think they have some sort of obsession with male genitalia, due to that film."

The authoress was now slowly rocking back and forth. "Nooo...Noo...Why do you not have a deformed face...why are you a rat...THE RODENTS! THE RODENTS!"

As Rath began to back away slowly, something far away suddenly went:

"YOU ARE THE DAMNEDEST CREATURE!"

shortly followed by a piercing scream.

Oddly enough, this seemed to shake Aeriel out of her stupor. "I'd better give you your info before I get sued." she said briskly. "Now, firstly, we have The Mirror which I stole from Disney's Beauty and the Beast."

She brandished a white hand-held mirror.

Rath blinked again. "Disney?"

"Yeah, I'm going to use it in this joke story I'm writing which I can't really post on FictionPress because it uses anime characters, and I can't post on FanfictionNet because I'm making fun of people I know in it." Realizing this was, in fact, a shameless plug, the authoress shoved the mirror at Rath. "Look, just take it, okay!"

Rath blinked at his reflection. "Uh...I already knew I was good looking."

Aeriel rolled her eyes. "Save me from idiotic male leads...Look, ask it to show you Cesia before I'm forced to make another reference to a work of fiction I shouldn't be referencing in the first place."

The dark-haired boy peered intently at his reflection. "Uh...show me Cesia." For no apparent reason other than the animation department at Disney being incredibly obvious, Rath's hair went momentarily white, while the mirror glowed green (yes, you read that right), and it made the trademark Disney "shiny noise".

Rath's face was suddenly replaced by Cesia, who was throwing things at Garfacky. "IDIOT! IMBECILE!" The therapist shrieked. "WHEN I WANT PASTA WITH TOMATO SAUCE, THAT'S WHAT I'LL SAY! I SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED PESTO SAUCE!"

The image faded away. For no apparent reason, Hermione started humming ëBe Our Guest'.

Rath blinked again. "Well...that was unexpected."

Aeriel shrugged. "Look, if you wanted to see Cesia being tortured or something, you should try one of those drama stories where she's secretly lusting after Nadil. I don't have the patience to write something that serious."

"Actually, I think that was the most serious thing you've said this entire story."

"Oh, shaddup and go questing. Here's your map, have a nice day, thank you."

As Rath flew away, he was heard a farewell shout of "ROOOSE WHIP!"

A/N: Er...sorry? (ducks rotten vegtables) Yes, I know I should have updated. Half of this was written over the summer, which explains a lot if you think about it. The good news is, there will actually be THREE chapters after this one, and possibly an epilogue. Er- at least I think that's good news.

If anyone's curious, the author I was continually referring to getting sued by is none other than Anne Rice. I've discovered it may actually be illegal to write fanfictions about her stories. Which kinda sucks because I'm on a Vampire Chronicles kick, and keep having to restrain myself from referencing Lestat in humor fanfiction constantly. Anyone who's read the books will probably notice the references I did manage to slip in.

Next Chapter: Thatz, Kitchel, and THE TANGO!

I swear. This time I really will write it. Because I picked a real tango this time. Eheh. Bye now.


End file.
